Adopting Brynlee

 

Brynlee - 6 months old

Adopting Brynlee was a flat-out miracle. I'm so grateful to have her in our family. We are blessed to be her parents. Having any children in our lives has required miracles. Both of our kids came from years of trying and praying, and then, piece by piece, it all came together.

When McKay was 18 months old, we felt like it was time to try to adopt again. It had ultimately taken five years to adopt McKay, with 18 months of that spent waiting through the adoption process. We knew that having another kid would take time. I remember sitting in stake conference, and this feeling that there was space in our family, like our family wasn't complete, came to me. I can still remember it. Afterwards, we talked and decided that we would begin the adoption process again.

Around that time, I was called into the young women's presidency at church. I had been in young women's before, and I knew what to expect and what it was like. I don't know why, but this calling brought me a lot of anxiety. I don't have a clue why. I would have panic attacks before mutual. I would freeze up before doing anything with the group. It hit a point where I was getting depressed and not functioning. Matt and I discussed it and finally decided that I needed to be released. Callings like young women presidencies can last for years, and I had only been in it a few months.

I was released and then called to be the primary pianist. It was such a low-key place for me to be. It was perfect. The chorister was a girl I had visited once or twice. I knew who she was, but I didn't really know her. We hit it off, and she would sit by me when it wasn't singing time, and we would chat. She quickly became my friend.

She knew we were trying to adopt. She would tell me that she was going to find me a baby. I would laugh and say that would be great. We tried to adopt for one year when we felt inspired to do infertility treatments again. I came across a doctor who felt good to me, and we started with that. We didn't tell anyone that we had switched from adoption to infertility treatments.  We had put the adoption on hold and went full into treatments. During that time, my friend moved out of our ward to another part of town. I missed her.

We did infertility treatments for the majority of a year with no success. We decided to put all baby efforts on hold. We were burnt out emotionally and physically. I was done. We went about our normal lives again. I remember it so incredibly clearly, the day my friend called me out of the blue. We were working on some stuff in our house, and my phone started ringing. I was surprised to see my friend's name on my phone. I hadn't talked to her since she had moved.

She told me a crazy story. She is a cosmetologist, and there was a woman that she did her hair and this woman confided in my friend that a woman that she knew had offered an adoption situation to her. This woman wasn't in a place to adopt at that time and was telling my friend about it. My friend jumped on it! She told this woman about Matt and I and that we were trying to adopt and that we had adopted before. She had no idea we had done infertility treatments or given up altogether. She had moved out of the ward before we hit that point. She passed on my number to this woman to pass along to the lady who had offered the adoption situation.

My friend had called me to give me a heads up that we might get contacted about the situation. I hung up with her, and I was in total shock! We weren't even trying, and here was maybe an opportunity. It was seriously only 15 minutes later, and I got a text. It was the woman my friend had told me about. Her daughter was pregnant, and they were looking for a couple to adopt her baby. We texted back and forth, and I was being open, and I offered that they could look at our blog that talked about us, and she said they just wanted to meet us in person. 

The next day, we met the mother and pregnant daughter at a restaurant to talk. We had gotten a babysitter for McKay so we wouldn't have to worry about watching him. We spent some time sharing about ourselves and learning about them. It seemed to go well. They mentioned that they were going to meet with some other couples, and we said that was totally fine.

We didn't hear from them, and after a couple of weeks, I was sure they must have chosen someone else by that point. I gave up on them choosing us. Now that I look back, a couple of weeks isn't much time to decide who to have adopt your baby. I think it would have taken me so much longer. After three weeks, I got a phone call from the mother. She was calling on behalf of her daughter, asking if we would be willing to adopt her baby. I said yes immediately!

We were excited and shocked! We hadn't told any family about this yet, as we weren't sure if it would even turn into anything. We shared the news, and it was exciting and stressful as we began paperwork again for an adoption. It was June when they asked us to be Brynlee's parents, and she was due in October. We had a few months of waiting.

October came, everything was lined up with paperwork, an attorney, and everything was good to go. Brynlee was born on October 20, 2015. She has been an incredible miracle and joy to our family ever since. We love Brynlee, and she brings a light into our family that we very much needed. If I hadn't had panic about young womens and then been switched to primary to create a friendship, we never would have adopted Brynlee. Heavenly Father made it possible for all of us to be in the right place at the right time. I am so incredibly grateful. I am so grateful to her birth mother. She is a courageous woman whom I'm grateful to know. She has a special place in our hearts.