Waiting

We are in a period of waiting. It seems like a lot of our marriage has been spent that way.  

I do not wait well. 

I get anxious. 

I want it to end. 

I pester God constantly with my worries. 

Thank goodness he listens. 

Our waiting seems to include failure. 

That hurts a lot. 

At the beginning of this year, we lost one of our embryos. The transfer didn't work. We have one left. I've been waiting since January for the opportunity to transfer that last embryo. Things just haven't worked out yet with my body. 

It hasn't happened. 

We are still waiting. 

It's hard. I don't like it. 

Matt has been unemployed for six months now. We are waiting. 

It's very hard. I don't like it. 

I may be waiting but I believe on the other side God is incredibly busy orchestrating good for me. Not because I deserve it. Not because I wait well, because I don't, but because he loves me.  

I am his child. He has an interest in me. Just like he has for each one of us. 

Love is his motivator. We are his.  

I believe He wants me to succeed. He has a plan and a path available for me. I believe that.  

Just because I don't see what he is working on doesn't mean he isn't working. 

It may not be happening how I want or even ask for but it is happening how he is planning. 

In the end, I don't think I'll mind all the waiting. I believe I'll like God's plan for me.  

I believe he's got something better in mind for me than I do.  Because he loves me. 

I've just got to wait a little bit more and trust in him a little longer.