I've never considered myself an artist. I thought it would be cool to be one, but I didn't think I could. I guess I never really tried. I was walking through Ross one day and came across a watercolor kit. It had everything needed to do watercolor. I mentioned to Matt that it would be fun to buy a kit like that and try out something new. I honestly forgot about it entirely.
For Christmas a couple of years ago, Brynlee gave me that watercolor kit with the help from Matt. I was surprised that he remembered about it, and I was excited to try. My first try was a little lame. I had no clue what I was doing. I made some blobs on a paper that was supposed to be flowers. It wasn't great. My next try, I found a YouTube tutorial. That went a lot better. At least that time, it looked closer to what it was supposed to look like.
Doing that tutorial and having it look a little like what I wanted to got me hooked. I kept doing watercolor tutorials. I enjoyed it a lot. Around this time, I went through a really bad bought of depression. I have dealt with depression my entire adult life, and I hit a rough patch that was incredibly tough. I decided to get medical help. I started on medications, and that made life even rougher for a while. I am sensitive to medications, but I didn't know it when I started on antidepressants. I need the lowest dose possible, and if it's too high a dose, I get incredibly sick.
I was extremely depressed, physically sick from the medication, and hardly functioning. About the only thing I could do was watch TV or sit at the kitchen table and paint. Painting became my sanity. It gave me a creative outlet from a brain that was suffocating in depression. There were some really dark days, but painting gave me something to hold onto.
I've fought long and hard for my mental health. I'm in a really good place today. I'm so grateful for that. I also feel like watercolor came into my life at just the right time to give me something to live for. It was a small light in a hard time. I still am so grateful that I had something to do while I spent months struggling to find the right medication and the right dose.
I love painting. I enjoy seeing what I can create. I feel like I have so much to learn still on my art journey, but I'm really glad that I have an art journey at all. It's a new part of me that I absolutely love. I never knew it was there inside of me. I'm glad it's there.
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